It's likely due to my training - I'm not a writer by training - I went to music school (Berklee to be exact), and majored in music composition. Before that, I was at a conservatory (Baldwin Wallace), where I had "instrumentalist's guilt" firmly entrenched in my being. You must agonize over things, perfecting them.
So, imagine my current predicament. I was the type of composer who used to agonize for days, weeks, over the perfect note, chord, what have you (for my own pieces - the stuff for school could bite me - and generally, those were the better pieces - what a bitch that it didn't take).
Now - this does make me a great editor. I love turning shit into less shitty shit. I love picking things apart, putting them back together again.
However, before I get to turn shit into less shitty shit, I have to write shit first. And I have to be OK with that.
I'm working on it. Handwriting my first drafts goes a long way towards the acceptance of the shittiness of the first draft.
By the way, this is a first draft. I've accepted that it's likely shit.
Just needed to get that off my chest.
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