14 December 2009
This is going to be harder on me than it is on you, my darling - the light of my life.
My sweet sweet... oh screw it. I think it's time we saw other scripts.
I used to love the scope of you. I loved caressing you, taking your plot points and turning them into something cinematic. But then again, you caught me at a transition - from when I loved disjointed narratives with multi-character arcs to just wanting something simple. Something raw. Something entertaining that isn't going to be a 200-page fat-ass of a historical/political/thriller/drama script.
I tried chopping you up. I tried making you into a sleek, svelte 100-page genre picture that entertained, with a narrative thrust. However, you preferred to sit on your plushy rump in a moo-moo and not get the workout going. No no, you said, "I need that ho-ho! I need to sprawl across multiple decades," With several (still living) characters - all of whom would probably kill me if I screwed it up.
And I let you. I let you control me. I let you take control and sprawl, and grow, and get fatter and fatter. A Subway diet won't save you now. I've tried taking you on daily walks, I've tried lipo - and I even removed over half of the content of the book, yet still, a single story was near-impossible to come by.
I hacked. I slashed. I went Jack the Ripper on you with the precision of a laser. But you grew. You grew like a baby Godzilla. And then you ate Matthew Broderick. And we were happy for a little bit. But then you turned your appetite for expansion and girth on to me.
So, I'm sorry. But I think we need some time apart. I'm done taking you out of your hammock with a boat oar. Roll yourself over. Get fit. Get cleaned up. Look at you. You're a disgrace.
But, I still see the glimmer of what I first saw in you. And I think with a little time apart, we might find that we're compatible again.
Poli thrill, it's not you. It's me. Really.
No, OK. It's you. Lose some weight and come back 300 pounds lighter without the baggage.
*NOTE - the photo above is obviously not the script of the poli thrill. That's something else. Something fun. Short film stunt double.*